Winter's Invitation to Self-Care
It’s that time of year - it’s supposed to be festive and all about the holiday cheer (hey, that rhymes!). But after the year we’ve had and the giant lump of coal that the coronavirus gave us for Christmas, we may be feeling anything but merry. I, myself have been feeling a gravitational pull towards a hibernation-of-sorts. So, while contemplating my own soul-weariness, I received inspiration to post these words to Facebook recently:
I’ve talked with so many people already this week who have complained about being “so tired”, so I wanted to offer some encouragement (perhaps I needed some as well...).
Please try to remember that Mother Nature is showing us what is of primary importance now:
Rest.
We are moving toward the New Moon next Sunday, which means our energy is ebbing to our lowest point. Additionally, we are in the Solstice season where the nights are getting longer until they reach their darkest point on December 21st, the Winter Solstice - another invitation to slow down.
So even without the heaviness of COVID fears, worldly concerns, working from home, losses and grieving of all kinds, it’s totally understandable that we are *supposed* to feel tired during this time of year...so do not resist the natural pull towards more rest. Rest for mind, body and Spirit. Take naps whenever you can, sleep in or go to bed earlier. Say “no” more often to things and people that steal your precious energy. And please ask for help so you CAN get the rest you need.
Go to ground like the fallen seeds and woodland creatures. Find comfort in the blanket of darkness. Know deeply that there is nothing wrong with you if you don’t feel like doing anything, much less “crushing your goals”.
Be more concerned about crushing your Spirit.
Nature is inviting you to find and embrace rest for your soul as part of the turning wheel of the year. Love that you are tired and feel heavy and know that you are so very loved. Rest, child. Know that where there is darkness, there is also light. The seasons remind us of this every single Winter. Do not run away from it - be still and know: the light always returns.
But for now, just rest.
I was somewhat shocked this post took off like a comet across a winter sky in the following days, reaching well beyond my “friends” list. Apparently, there are MANY of us that need to hear this message of rest right now. And yet, so many of us, in our culture of “busy-ness”, have forgotten how to do that. Indeed, one commenter wrote in response, “All well and good, but it won’t pay the bills.”
That may be true in the literal sense, but dealing in the currency of worry will only leave us bankrupt.
Recognizing the need for us to feel like we can give ourselves permission to rest, perhaps it would be helpful to share a few tips for embracing Mother' Nature’s guidance and taking a retreat:
Redefine “Rest”
Sure, you won’t pay the bills by napping on the coach, but I would also argue that sleep deprivation and constant worry actually make you less effective at the work you do. If you can’t get an extra 30 minutes of sleep, shift your perspective to cultivating “restfulness” instead.
Practice the pause - take a moment before meals, before driving to your job/errand, before engaging in that difficult conversation to take several deep breaths. Close your eyes while your at it and say a short prayer. Just drawing your awareness to the now moment and consciously relaxing your breath and body can illicit a feeling of restful space throughout your day.
Turn off the noise - with so many digital devices, notifications, Zoom meetings and streaming services (Netflix binge, anyone?), it can feel like your small space has become overcrowded. Consider doing a technology fast and relish in a few moments of quiet. Our nervous system needs a break from all that constant stimulation. A break which can help the body become more resilient and relaxed in the face of stress.
Clean your plate - normally the holidays pile on generous portions of extra shopping, baking, parties, gift wrapping and other fun - but time consuming - events. With many social events cancelled, perhaps this is a good time to take stock of anything else that needs to be removed from your already-full plate. What are some ways that you can simplify your holidays, and your life, that will allow you to create more space? Start by scrapping that “to-do” list, or at the very least, making it much smaller.
The Gift of Sleep
If you’re riding the caffeine-late night-short sleep-wake to caffeinate roller coater, you may be wondering after a while, “how do I get off this ride??”. It can be easy to get caught up in the belief that we simply can’t add more sleep due to everything we “have to do” (please see previous tip for recommendations on this). Sleep deprivation is a very real and very concerning health risk. Sleep expert Dr. Matthew Walker details in his Ted talk why we need sleep more than ever (watch HERE), and with the lengthening nights and New Moon energy, this is a perfect time to get more of it.
Better Sleep Hygiene - consider removing all electronic devices and other distractions from the bedroom, and making it dark and cold (60-65 degrees is best). Setting up your sleep environment primes your body to relax and fall into dreamland faster and easier.
The Queen’s Bedchamber - does the King (or Queen) keep the village awake with their snoring? Consider trying an old medieval trick - separate bedrooms! Now, I get a lot of funny looks when I tell people that I have my own bedroom, but after the dramatic health impacts of sleep deprivation caused by my partner’s snoring, I knew I had to do something drastic. It may seem less romantic to not share a bed, but trust me, with just a week of uninterrupted sleep, you’ll find you have much more energy, feel more positive, and greatly improved relationships (and you’ll likely have more energy for using your bedroom for “extracurricular activities” that keep your romantic life humming!
Cut the Caffeine - you think you need it to get through your day, but over time the effects can significantly disrupt your ability to fall asleep and stay asleep, leading to sleep deprivation. When I have encouraged my clients to switch to plain ol’ water, every single one of them was shocked at how much MORE energy they had by giving up coffee and other caffeinated beverages. Try it for 2 weeks - you’ll get better sleep AND you’ll put that Starbucks money back into your pocket.
Follow Mother Nature’s Lead
To everything (turn, turn, turn) / there is a season (turn, turn, turn)…
There are a number of cycles in nature that invite us to contemplate the rhythm of life. Consider the cycles of day to night, full moon to new moon and the ebb and flow of the tides. Even the seasons of the year turn on a wheel reminding us that darkness and winter are only temporary, and perhaps there are gifts hidden with the setting of the sun.
With the advent of the industrial revolution and artificial light, we extended our days unnaturally, gradually pushing out the benefits of the natural rhythms on our health and well-being. It has been widely studied how artificial lighting has been attributed to a host of health risks, but I think it can be summed up this way: we no longer know how to relax. More light illuminates so many more things that we need or want to get done, cutting into our much needed sleep time and slowly leading us to burnout.
In many ancient civilizations and native tribes, lives were planned around the seasons and the cycles of the moon. The New Moon was a time when women generally had their menses, and thus they would gather into the Moon Lodge for rest and self-care during this time. Summertime, with their luxuriously long days allowed us to connect to the Earth and cultivate crops that would sustain us through the long nights of Winter. Winter, as we witness in many animal species, is a time for slowing down, resting and hibernation. As an integral part of nature’s web, then we too feel the pull into these natural rhythms. If you feel tired during a New Moon or during the Winter season, it is because you are supposed to. The Universe is telling you: it is now time to rest. Allowing yourself to more fully embrace these seasons within you will reap many benefits for mind-body-spirit.
Happy Hygge - the people of Denmark know how to navigate the winter season with a unique and lovely concept called hygge (pronounced “hue-gah”), roughly translated into “coziness”. But it’s more than just hot cocoa and fluffy socks, it is a state of being that can help us embrace the winter season. Read more about practicing hygee here.
New Moon Wisdom - once I learned about how our energy flows with the cycles of the moon (low energy - new moon; high energy - full moon), I began taking deliberate steps to planning my life around them so that I could maximize the use of my energy, rather than depleting it. Consider learning more about the New Moon and its wisdom by attending one of my New Moon Circles! Its a great way to connect with the sacredness of this celestial cycle.
Tree Therapy - when all else fails, go hug a tree. Seriously. Being immersed in nature has numerous health benefits (read about them here and how much time you need to spend - its not as much as you think!). So much so that many researchers have indicated that our children today are severely deficient in “Vitamin N (Nature)”, which can lead to health issues such as ADHD, physical illnesses, and other emotional health issues. I know it may be cold outside, but bundle-up and head outside. You will thank me for it!
Enjoy the season and answer Mother Nature’s invitation to go within and connect to your eternal Spirit. Rest in the knowing that you are so much more than what you do, its all about being.
It’s time to rest.