Wait

Patience has never been my strong suit.

And if you are one of my close friends, you are likely laughing out loud at that statement. Surely the last year and a half or longer has been a period of healing, cocooning, and self-care. I knew it would be, but when I read about my progressed moon, being in the sign of Scorpio until June 2024, I received my not-so-subtle marching orders from the universe: Wait.

I am by nature a firestarter, I am a catalyst for ideas, both my own, and others. I love to make things happen. Part of that is hardwired in me, some of it was a coping skill: the more I do for others the more I am loved. As a first born child and part of generation X, I have a strong sense of responsibility and work ethic. I get shit done.

So you can see why this period of time, of deep, healing, and cocooning, and being patient is particularly hard for me. Perhaps it’s made even harder when you are navigating grief, and/or simply navigating the winter season. In my case, it’s been a little bit of both. For the second year in a row, I lost a very deer and close friend unexpectedly. Once again, my heart was crushed and life came to a screeching halt. We then had two back-to-back blizzards that left me homebound and feeling lonely. But after this very snowy and cold January, which I happened to have loved, I am feeling the itch to get out and “do more “ again. I have so many ideas just gestating in my brain, and I am utterly frustrated that I can’t seem to bring any of them to fruition.

I keep reading cards, reading the signs, listening to the guidance of spirit coming through every available channel, including the mouths of my Wise Friends, and all I keep hearing is:

Wait. Have patience.

Downright infuriating! But I’m sure that my angel guides are just as frustrated, in the most loving way, with my inability to just “be”. I apparently need these constant reminders, because the external world is shouting, demanding, requiring me to continue to do more, give more, be more. Even though it exhausts me at times, I still keep jumping on that hamster wheel, like a kid hopped up on cotton candy begging to ride the tilt-a-whirl for the 15th time. I’ve heard about this “rest revolution”, and I’m all for it, I just don’t think I can be the poster child for it. Somehow, I need to learn how to be.

This past weekend I was gifted an online journeying retreat. I was, of course, very excited, but little did I know how deeply my body and soul needed to receive this. It was the space I needed to remind me about taking more space for rest in my life. It was so delicious, to be reminded by our spirit guide Bastet, the cat-like goddess, who reminds us to reclaim our power, but not by proving anything to anyone, not by being loud and aggressive, but by being more like a cat.

Play, savor, rest.

Cats own their power through this quiet confidence, being at home in their bodies, and moving with the guidance of instinct. My two beautiful cats, Stormy and Skye, remind me of this very simple way of being on a daily basis. Having this daily reminder is wonderful, thought it doesn’t make it any easier to do. I am willing to try. I have to be.

The following Sunday I went for a very chilly hike at my favorite park just north of where I live. I decided to go an hour before sunset. The wind was whispering through the trees, and herds of deer were nuzzling the ground looking for a morsel to nibble on. It was so quiet, and I was looking everywhere for some first sign of spring. But I looked down at the ground, covered in dry brown leaves, and a sprinkling of snow, the ground hard and cold, and I thought to myself, “there is nothing stirring here.“

But then the answer came, quietly and firmly: My dear child, this is the seasonal way, Nature’s way. The holy ground that you walk is not barren, it is incubating.

In February we celebrate Imbolc, which means “in the belly”, referring to this time where lambs are gestating, waiting to be born. Spirit was reminding me that my dream, my wishes, my fire is incubating “in the belly” of my soul. There is no need to rush, because nature knows.

Nature knows how to bloom again. And soon, so will I. I just need to be patient and wait.